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These include factors that dith an inherent part of many workplaces, as well as the natural evolution of marital relationships. One of the most common psychlogy about affairs is that they are caused by a lack of one thing or another in a marriage. A wife, for example, may feel that her husband never listens or that he doesn't appreciate her. A husband may claim to be misunderstood, or may feel that his wife lost interest in sex long ago. Or both may feel that they're no longer able to communicate or that they simply no longer have any common interests.
And when children have grown up and left the home, this lack of common ground can become a gaping chasm between husband and wife. Another stereotype is Best dating sites canada 2014 a spouse has met someone who is superior in some way, someone who better meets their needs and desires. In a wife's fantasies, the new secretary with whom her husband is having an affair is much more attractive than she is. A husband imagines that the man with whom his wife is infatuated is much more successful than he is. The list goes on and on, but the message is the same.
The affair partner excels in the areas that matter, whether appearance, sex appeal, personality, education, wealth, or other accomplishments. In our consumer society, in which we feel entitled to choice and the satisfaction of our wants, we fall prey to the idea that someone better suited awaits us out there. But, let's step back and take a look at certain changes in contemporary society, as well as the realities of marriage. Over the past half century, women have entered the workforce in increasing numbers. In today's economy, it is almost a luxury for a woman or a man to remain full time in the home and raise children. And so women and men have become accustomed to working closely with each other, particularly as the feminist agenda has continued to push for full and equal participation in the workplace.
The reality is that many men and women spend more time with their coworkers than they do with their spouses. They engage in more conversation about both work and non-work-related matters. The emotional intensity of workplace demands can contribute to the forging of strong emotional bonds. And the truth is that, without conscious effort, marriages can stagnate.
The exhilaration and strong sexual attraction that we once felt for a partner are likely to wane over time. The zffair young woman you partied with during college becomes preoccupied with childrearing and running a household. The carefree guy you went hiking and camping with when you dated is now concerned about being an adequate provider for his family. And habits that may have been mildly irritating during dating for example, ah being a few minute Having an affair with a married man psychology psycholog, over the course of a marriage can become major annoyances. We settle into roles and routines, which tend to be predictable and even boring. One day, something happens at the office.
A new staff marridd catches your eye and you begin to fantasize Caught in shower naked her. Within a few weeks, you find yourself stopping by her office more often than you Having an affair with a married man psychology to. One day, you invite her to marrjed. You run into the same guy at the coffee machine several days a week and begin talking about your weekend. The conversation turns to families and eventually to some frustrations in your marriage. These budding office relationships offer us something we no longer have in our marriages--the opportunity to be seen in a different light.
In the workplace, you're not just the pressured mom who's too exhausted for sex at the end of the day. You're an attractive woman whom someone finds interesting and who is offered a sympathetic ear. You're not just the husband with a growing "honey do" list who would prefer to spend his weekends watching sports. You're the guy who takes charge at work, makes things happen, and has the respect of his peers. So, affairs--at first, at least--afford us the opportunity to occupy a different role from that of husband or wife. And this appears to be the case even in good marriages.
He notes that "most men have learned these techniques on their own and don't do it in obvious ways. Married men make more money, have more peace of mind, and have more and better sex. Marriage also lowers men's health risk, while divorce raises the risk of death by percent for men. So Haltzman is busy researching ways to help understand the relationship patterns of husbands and wives. He has set up an internet community for married men to share their experiences and wisdom about marriage. Here are tidbits of his own wisdom: Working on a relationship is a man's job as much as a woman's.
Often it is the man's behavior that predicts whether a couple stays together. Men need to accept the influence of their wives. Once men decide to marry, they are more committed to the relationship than women are. Guys look at relationships differently from women, but the most commonly discussed ways of fixing relationships are geared to feminine styles. Infidelity occurs in up to 40 percent of marriages. By age 45, two out of every five men and one out of every five women has had at least one affair. Most simply seek validation, warmth, understanding or love.