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None of the care, none of the responsibility. They start off as fun, easy going guys, willing to live life to the fullest. Then they become disappointing and just damn exhausting. And they can be hard to spot. They might have good jobs and be successful, but here are some warning signs: He's selfish This is the big-ticket one. He's selfish with his time, attention, affection, money.
He will always do what's best for him, and if you use the 'c-word' compromise -- settle down folks! Nothing is ever his fault The man-child can never admit he's wrong. Whether it's because he actually, genuinely thinks he's always right, or he's just stubborn, either way, you can't progress a relationship like this. How do you know youre dating a selfish person everything is someone else's fault He's more than happy to tell everyone else Cougar sluts in glasgow they're wrong. That clash at work was his mean colleague, the reason you're unhappy is because you expect too much, he behaves like he does because you're on his back.
Nothing that happens to him is because of how he interacts with others. If you ask how he would've handled things differently, the self-awareness fairy will sit on his shoulder blowing raspberries at you while he defiantly pouts that he did everything right. He can't accept criticism Whether he never got any criticism as a child or got too much and is defensive -- this will stop you sharing with him and put distance in your relationship. He is thin-skinned and takes everything personally -- but he doesn't think so. And these blind spots are intimacy defeating. Fights with a man-child suck. He is stubborn, whiny, and will cut off communications, saying your distress is hurting him.
And don't expect him to watch you cry. So upsetting for the poor dear, all this consequences-of-actions stuff. Like a toddler threatening to scream over a sticky bun a supermarket -- it's a bid to create a power imbalance. He doesn't want you to feel secure, he wants you to work for him so he gets all he wants without any effort back. Feeling safe in a relationship good days and bad is pretty damn appealing. Scrabbling for the approval of a man who has the resilience of home-brand paper towel, not so much. He doesn't look after himself or the relationship Whether it's gorging on junk food and beer, refusing to work out, or staying up till all hours and being too tired for you. You find yourself nagging, or begging for courtesy and consideration and you hate yourself.
This guy is still not over the novelty of moving out of home and wonders why you feel like a low priority. He doesn't try to improve his body or mind and he isn't interested in improving himself. He puts you down Your feelings are dismissed as silly. When requests are made for the takers to give up some part of themselves, they usually decline or flee, at once feeling alarmed and afraid. What is the psychology that underlines this fear and what can you do about this? Selfish lovers often suffer from feeling inadequate. Their feelings of inadequacy run so deep that they end up feeing very ashamed. When the taker then gives up just a little, this feels so relieving to the giver — it is like a glimpse of a sign of life.
But unfortunately for the giver, this How do you know youre dating a selfish person not last too long. Selfish lovers are often hiding something they are very ashamed of as well. Giving makes them feel out of control and threatened as they worry that the reason for their shame will be revealed. With this strong feeling of having to cover up all the time, they hold onto their love very tightly because giving it up makes them feel as though they are sliding on ice. Also, for selfish lovers, love feels like a scarce resource. When selfish lovers give up a little love, they start to worry that the little that they are connected with will all be gone.
This is because selfish lovers are often not self connected and even when they are deeply intelligent, the one faculty that has remained undeveloped is the faculty of being self-connected. Perhaps the greatest obstruction to the selfish lover is that he or she is afraid to learn at a later stage in life. It is like asking an adult to start to learn how to swim.